you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
