Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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