i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
