I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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