I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
