Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
