these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
