So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
