just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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