We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
