my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
