I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
