just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
