K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
