this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
