i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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