Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
