haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
