So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
