If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
