I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
