hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I have post one night stand depression
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
