and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He has the fingertips of a God
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