Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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