I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
