Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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