Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
