dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
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