I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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