I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
