I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
