He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
