white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
