It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
