Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
