Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
tell me about the eggs
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
