i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
