Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
