There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
