Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I understand Curling. That high.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
