Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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