No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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