Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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