I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
