I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
