where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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