Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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