Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
