this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
