covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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