My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
