Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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