What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
