Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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